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  Turning your Dreams into Reality

April, 2004


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"What holds you back? A little fear. What holds you back? Voices ringing in your ear. What holds you back? Trepidations, worn beliefs Have got you by the collar Pulled you to your knees."

Ah, a wonderful song, one of my favourites, by Mark Stanton Welch, "If the Truth be Told". Fear- I know it holds me back at times, and I see it holding other people back as well. And most of it is imagined.

  In this issue:

 

Apparently we are born with only 2 fears- the fear of falling and fear of loud noises. All the other fears we gather and create throughout our life. The fear of failing, fear of being successful, fear of rejection, fear of change, fear of? What are your fears, what holds you back?


  Fear or Faith?
 

Norma ReidI chose to write about fears because fear is staring me in the face this month. I have chosen to develop faith this year, and have stepped through my fears in many ways, starting new endeavours and doing things I've always wanted to but have been afraid to start. I affirm each morning "I am a fulfilled woman of faith who sings her truth", and then go about doing something in faith. I see faith as the opposite of fear- by trusting that things will unfold as they should, and that whatever happens will be for my highest good, I am pushing through my fears. My confidence and abilities have increased immensely, with each little leap of faith I take. It truly is incredible!

So, here I am, with a bunch of new projects on the go, procrastinating about the most urgent one, because I'm afraid I will flop. What do I do? I read a ton of articles on the subject, rather than trusting and coming from what I know, hoping in my quest for the new nugget of info my fear will vanish. Do I know about the subject matter, which is fear and boundaries? You betcha! Yet, I look for more information, as if that is the answer to eliminating my fear. (There is nothing wrong with researching the subject, except when it gets obsessive.) I've been paralyzed by fear at times, real and imagined. What I do know is normally the fear is far worse in my head than what actually happens. There are many times I've imagined the outcomes of different conversations or scenarios, and they are always disastrous. When I build up the courage to act through the fear, I don't think it has ever been as bad as I imagined.

  Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
 

I reviewed an older popular book, "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway", by Susan Jeffers, who asks, "IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD HANDLE ANYTHING THAT CAME YOUR WAY, WHAT WOULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO FEAR? The answer is: NOTHING! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO DIMINISH YOUR FEAR IS TO DEVELOP MORE TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY TO HANDLE WHATEVER COMES YOUR WAY!" She identifies 5 "FEAR TRUTHS:

  1. The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
  2. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.
  3. The only way to feel better about myself is to go out and do it.
  4. Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I'm on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.
  5. Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness."

Some leaps of faith I took were huge- like leaving a marriage with an 8 month old and pregnant with my second. I was clear on wanting to step through the fear of being alone to better my life for my family. Yet, for years I had a huge fear of conflict and would do everything in my power to ensure there would be peace, often agreeing with things I didn't agree with inside. It got to a point where I didn't really know what I wanted anymore, I was so intent on being what I thought I was supposed to be rather than who I was. And each time I gave into my fear, I lost a little piece of myself, gave a little piece of my power away. What I do know is when I do step through the fear and "just do it", I empower myself, gain more confidence in my abilities and my self-esteem and courage increases. Life just gets better! To me, fear is simply stepping out of my comfort zone, it's listening to my higher self, the one that tells me I am worthy and deserving of all the goodness I desire, and following my heart. It's determining that I'm worth the risk, that my life will be more fulfilling for doing it, whether I succeed or fail. It's my inner critics that usually hold me back- those gremlins telling me I'm not good enough, I'm too old, I'm no good, I'll fail etc. I need to remind myself I can come from my fear place, my ego-driven state, where I get struck with fear, insecurities, self-consciousness, anxiety, or I can choose to come from my centred, or healthy state- that place of connection, acceptance, detachment, mindfulness. I can choose to stay stuck in my fear and frozen, or I can acknowledge it, accept it and move forward into the light.

So what is fear holding you back from experiencing? A career change? Taking your business in a new direction? Starting a business? Hiring someone? Running? Rock climbing? Taking a vacation? Acting in a play? Painting? Playing piano? Rollerblading? According to RealAge.com, "there may be a link between a fear of novel situations and a shorter life span. If you've nothing to fear but fear itself, take a leap of faith the next time you are presented with an opportunity to experience something new."

My challenge to you is to Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway- you'll come out the other side a lot more confident than when you started, and who knows, you may live longer! What holds you back?

Back to Mark Stanton Welch's song- "I was not meant to be a stranger Not meant to be down I was born to soar the heavens Turn this world around. When I was a little boy I looked life in the face I just won't rest Till I stand in that place, again."

Enjoy the journey back to the place where you are standing in your power once again!

  Readers Corner
 

This section is reserved for tips or successes you would like to share. What worked well for you? How did you do it? Or what's an awesome website you've been to, or book you've read? A quote that's inspired you to action, or changed your thinking and your life? Or brought a smile to your face?
My friend Julie Jordan Scott's newsletter arrived this week in my inbox, and I just now had the opportunity to read it. Here is a wonderful exercise Julie wrote to release those thoughts and beliefs that hold us back. Thanks Julie!

  1. HOLD that thought. The usual way of responding to a negative thought is by allowing unconscious patterns to chase it away and hide it, allowing it to stay "undercover" and unconsciously keeps you locked up or by allowing it to chase you, consistently nipping at your heels thus actively becoming larger and larger and larger than it ever was. Either way reinforces the words of Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan who said, "The bind is in the mind". When you "HOLD the Thought" you literally place the thought or the belief in your hand. Perhaps even in front of you. Don't focus on the "wrong" ness of the thought or belief, instead, look at it with wonder. "Wrong" is covered in darkness, "Wonder" is based in light.
  2. THANK the Thought or Belief for being a messenger along your path. Take it (the belief which you are holding in your hand) and place it over your heart where it can be embraced by the pulse of the life force in your body. Its energy will process the darkness along with the gratitude expressed in your words and in your experience and bring you into more light - more love - more good. You may not at first know what to thank that belief for bringing to you, so you may be very general: "Thank you, Belief, for reminding me of what is darkness and what is light." "Thank you, Belief, for your message." "Thank you, Belief, for serving me in the past - I recognize you for what you have been and now."
  3. RELEASE the Thought or Belief. Take your hand away from your heart and lift your hand towards the sky. The Divine is ready, willing and able to accept any of our "old stuff" that has been a burden to us. Simply finishing your "I recognize you for what you have been and now I release you" will bring you back to center. The shift happens when you let go - when you release the hold of whatever Thought or Belief that has been binding your mind, your thoughts and the patterns of your behavior. You can repeat the process as frequently as you desire. As your awareness increases, the lighter, easier and more rapid this process will become for you. Practice with different words and with different physical techniques. If you have a strong tendency towards intellectualizing, you may want to incorporate an acknowledgement of your intellect in this process, as perhaps it is your intellect that has unconsciously moved the energy in a negative direction and then

Choose to move in the direction that serves your good and the greatest good of all. Hold, Thank and Release. Hold, Thank and Release. Hold, Thank and Release.

Julie Jordan Scott is a Personal Success and Creativity Coach. Dare to Discover Your Passion, Decide to Live Your Destiny! Subscribe now to the ezine that will show you how. Best of all, its completely complimentary! Sign up at her website: http://www.5passions.com now.

visit Julie's website »

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  About me and my business
 

I am Norma Reid, a Certified Executive Coach, and the owner of From Dreams to Reality Success Coaching. My dream is to help you fulfill your professional and personal dreams and live the rich, full life you are meant to! Call for a sample coaching session to see if coaching is for you.

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Thank you once again for letting me share part of your journey with you. Until next time, enjoy the incredible wonder and beauty this time of year blesses us with! Make your life a little more beautiful by starting something new- feel the fear, and do it anyway!

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